Tears

Tears fill my eyes
And where are they to go?
Spilling out
Running down my cheeks
Down past my chin
Splat onto my lap.
And for what?
Why should I cry?
Yeah my mom’s got problems
And sometimes she hates me
Sure my dad is slowly dying
And of course he’s disappointed in me.
I’m not the best person.
Nor the cleanest
Most energized
Prettiest
The way I see it, I’m not living for much.
So why should I shed tears?
I choose not to do anything
I choose to sleep the days away
In my head
Tucked in my imagination
My retreat
Listening to music
I made this life.
Why should I cry if it’s so bad?
Is it cuz I didn’t get here on my own?
Is it cuz they drove me to the point of collapse?
School
Friends
Family
Home
So called loved ones
Pain
People
The world.
Yeah they have all driven me mad
Don’t cry!
Remember you made this.
Why should I feel neglected?
Everyone has pains and issues
Who am I to cry?
I don’t live in a third world country
I was never raped.
Never beaten
Never humiliated
Well maybe a couple of times.
Yeah so what I was picked on
Who hasn’t been?
People around me have died
Close people
But everyone has a loss
Everyone has regrets
Everyone has a low point
If they didn’t cry why should I?
Why after knowing all of this
Do my eyes well up with tears?
They sting
I can’t see
I can’t breathe
My head hurts
I can’t cry
I shouldn’t cry
I can’t stop the tears…