I wish I could say that I have been doing something productive for this blog but I haven't. I've started a new semester and i've been preoccupied with how I will pay for things and how I can manage my time so I won't be so tired all the time. the greatest thing i've done so far is think of what to add to.my stories. I have some scenes that I think are absolutely amazing but i'm not sure if I will post excerpts in order or in chaos. Chaos is sometimes fun. I've tried writing spoken word, not going well. I used to write a lot of poetry but i've lost that saddened and replaced it with anger but I can never think proper with anger so my poetry is too at a standstill. Ah but alas all is not gloomy in my mind for I have stumbled upon a thrift shop and to my delight I found a few books that I cherish. "Perks of Being a Wallflower", "Stuck In Neutral", and "In the Time of the Butterflies" therefore I am happy!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Tears
Tears fill my eyes
And where are they to go?
Spilling out
Running down my cheeks
Down past my chin
Splat onto my lap.
And for what?
Why should I cry?
Yeah my mom’s got problems
And sometimes she hates me
Sure my dad is slowly dying
And of course he’s disappointed in me.
I’m not the best person.
Nor the cleanest
Most energized
Prettiest
The way I see it, I’m not living for much.
So why should I shed tears?
I choose not to do anything
I choose to sleep the days away
In my head
Tucked in my imagination
My retreat
Listening to music
I made this life.
Why should I cry if it’s so bad?
Is it cuz I didn’t get here on my own?
Is it cuz they drove me to the point of collapse?
School
Friends
Family
Home
So called loved ones
Pain
People
The world.
Yeah they have all driven me mad
Don’t cry!
Remember you made this.
Why should I feel neglected?
Everyone has pains and issues
Who am I to cry?
I don’t live in a third world country
I was never raped.
Never beaten
Never humiliated
Well maybe a couple of times.
Yeah so what I was picked on
Who hasn’t been?
People around me have died
Close people
But everyone has a loss
Everyone has regrets
Everyone has a low point
If they didn’t cry why should I?
Why after knowing all of this
Do my eyes well up with tears?
They sting
I can’t see
I can’t breathe
My head hurts
I can’t cry
I shouldn’t cry
I can’t stop the tears…
And where are they to go?
Spilling out
Running down my cheeks
Down past my chin
Splat onto my lap.
And for what?
Why should I cry?
Yeah my mom’s got problems
And sometimes she hates me
Sure my dad is slowly dying
And of course he’s disappointed in me.
I’m not the best person.
Nor the cleanest
Most energized
Prettiest
The way I see it, I’m not living for much.
So why should I shed tears?
I choose not to do anything
I choose to sleep the days away
In my head
Tucked in my imagination
My retreat
Listening to music
I made this life.
Why should I cry if it’s so bad?
Is it cuz I didn’t get here on my own?
Is it cuz they drove me to the point of collapse?
School
Friends
Family
Home
So called loved ones
Pain
People
The world.
Yeah they have all driven me mad
Don’t cry!
Remember you made this.
Why should I feel neglected?
Everyone has pains and issues
Who am I to cry?
I don’t live in a third world country
I was never raped.
Never beaten
Never humiliated
Well maybe a couple of times.
Yeah so what I was picked on
Who hasn’t been?
People around me have died
Close people
But everyone has a loss
Everyone has regrets
Everyone has a low point
If they didn’t cry why should I?
Why after knowing all of this
Do my eyes well up with tears?
They sting
I can’t see
I can’t breathe
My head hurts
I can’t cry
I shouldn’t cry
I can’t stop the tears…
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